Damion Ante, the vampiric husband of my novel protagonist Nathanial:
"I hate...how you treat yourself. Nathanial...you call yourself nothing more then filth, but you aren't. You're someone who just wants to help people...someone who has made me a better man..." Burying his face into Nathanial's hair as he kissed the boy's head softly. "And I love you too much to let you drown yourself in depression..."
Drefan, you tried to set me free and I do thank you and I know you did it the only way you knew how. You live what you learn you once said long ago. There is truth and lie to such a statement. You live what you have learned and wish to teach. To love and never have hated is to never have felt true passion; I think I am realizing that now. All emotions are flips of a coin, heads and tails, darkness and light.
I can feel hate, I used to deny it, I used to wonder why I couldn’t feel it. But that was not true, I can, but I have blocked it out, deep in my heart. But what has that done for me all this time? I tried to block out anger as well, and it has taken all this time, the loss and the abuse to realize that both emotions are only just that, emotions like the rest. I thank you Drefan for what you did for me but I hate you all the same. I am angry at you for the years of my life you stole from me, the hopes and dreams you shattered because you had none yourself. You tried to destroy me, but you made me stronger. You tainted and liberated me. I thank you…and I hate you.
I am growing up, I’m not afraid anymore. I’m learning to love myself; I am an altruist, and a masochist. I may have been a monster, but now I am Damion’s angel. I was a broken china doll, but now I am someone’s salvation, their hopes and their dreams. I am looking to the future now not the past; I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself now. I never realized by hating myself how much I was hurting people who loved me. I am sorry. I’m a hypocrite, wishing to not burden others, and to hurt them. I always ended up blaming myself, but I just didn’t want to blame other people, I did not want to hurt or sadden others.
But the greatest pain is to see someone you love never forgive themselves, to believe themselves undeserving. I will stop hating myself and hurting others through that self deprecation. I will try to forgive myself for the things in my life I cannot change; I will try to love myself through all the pain and all the sadness. I will love, I will hate, I will cry and I will scream; I want to be whole. Like some scattered puzzle I will find all of my wayward pieces so you, my love, can help me put myself together again. I want to be worthy and I know that I need to find myself worthy first.
Damion? Will you wait for me? I’m still learning even as I am dying, and I may fail… But what is important is trying right? So I will try. For Drefan who is my past, for Damion my present and for my son who is my future and at last…Myself too.
I will try.
- Nathanial Peter Quele Royale
Prompt: Assumed Romantic Relationship
Content Notes/Warnings: Nathanial finally asks that one important question of his consort.
Warnings: None I can think of.
Main Character/s: Nathanial Peter Quele Royale, Damion Ante
Plot: Nathanial’s Nathanial finally asks that one important question of his consort.
Location: Illander castle, illander city.
Ahh, Nathanial I knew this day would come. I wished I was better prepared to tell you why, to have an answer you could believe so as not to break your heart. I can see the determination in your eyes, that will full stubbornness and courage that mark you as the amazing young man you are.
“Have you spoken to your Court about this? I am certain the Council would give you an ear full for the very idea.”
Nathanial’s nose wrinkles as he makes a face and he shifts uncomfortably, his small pale hands wringing before him but a resolute look crosses his features. “I have. They got upset like I knew they would, they tried to intimidate me,” shaking his head.
Damion’s brow cocked, “Tried?”
Content Notes/Warnings: Follows after When I die lay your head down but move on... 8 years after the novel’s ending.
Warnings: Mentions of Past M-Preg, Past Character Death, Past Under-age Love.
Main Character/s: Damion Ante, Joscelin Quele Ante, mentions of Nathanial Peter Quele Royale
Plot: 8 years after Nathanial’s death, Damion still tries to move on.
Location: illander Castle, Capitol of Camar'a.
“Watch me Papa!”
The untroubled laughter was pure, Damion’s lips curving into a smile as he settled against the wall of the training room. Joscelin always forgot he was blind, but that was due to the old vampire’s ability to still see the blood inside of living creatures, people at the least he could see. Watching through the blood sight his son take the steps and twirl into the air coming down and landing as far as he could tell with limited sight, perfectly.
“You have been training very hard my son,” Damion grinned in the direction of the young form that was wiggling on the spot from the praise.
Content Notes/Warnings:First Person p.o.v. This is actually the last scene from my novels, the death of my young protagonist. However this is from Nathanial's p.o.v in the books, so I thought to do the opposite by doing Damion's for this short fic.
Character Death, Under age love.
Main Character/s: Damion Ante, Nathanial Peter Quele Royale
Plot: Nathanial as Destined two days after his 16th birthday is to die.
Location: The Gardens of illander Castle, Capitol of Camar'a.
"Promise me, Swear to me, no-no one will mourn, no one will cry when I die. Sa-say it! Pl-please!"